Love Turns the Whole Thing Around!!!

My heart is very heavy tonight.
Some may read this and pass on ugly judgements, and honestly that is okay, because you are the ones that are causing this great up rising in strength and love in my family!!!

I have made some bad decisions in my life, but with those bad decisions comes so much good. I have a beautiful baby boy, who lights up the whole room and loves me unconditionally with no limit! Yes, I am paying for the bad decision of "fatherhood" that came with it but I am dealing with it. But thanks to all of this, my family is closer than it has ever been. One innocent life came into this world and blessed me, my husband, my parents and my whole family!

On top of this little blessing, through some sad and horrible circumstances, my husband and I gained temporary custody of his beautiful daughter, Cheyenne. She loves me as if I was her own, and I never knew a love so great until you gain a heart that is so innocent and undeserved! Cheyenne is mine and I am hers! I don't deserve her love but she has opened her heart to me and I will carry it and take the best care of it because I know she trusts me to love and take care of her!

My family is fighting so hard for the BEST for our two blessings! Eric has opened his heart to Hudson and has been his father from the very beginning and I have opened my heart to Cheyenne and I have been her mother since she was one! No one can take that away from us! We are a family and we are the best for these kids! And I wish others would see that as well. Decisions have been made and paths have been walked and it takes more than just saying you want to be a mom or want to be a dad to actually BE a mom and BE a dad! It's not just a TITLE, it a SELFLESS RESPONSIBILITY that can take ALL of you to give a child the VERY best! It takes more than LOVE, it takes SECURITY, and honestly....MONEY!!! Raising a child is NOT cheap, but you better believe I will starve and be without before my children do! I can't say that for others who try to wear the "daddy" mask/badge and the "mommy" mask/badge!

My family and I have bent over backwards for the "enemy" and we are not being met in the middle! I want to show them the same respect as they show us but I know in the end a rainbow always shines after the rain! Its hard but this hard road has given me the greatest gift! A family that has surrounded me, my husband, and my children! They have been with us every step of the way and have given selflessly endless times! And for that I am FOREVER grateful!

I love this song by John Mayer called The Heart of Life is Good. And it helps remind me that even though there are down times, love always prevails! And my family and our love has always prevailed!
The Lyrics are:

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good 

And Even though I have been dragged to tears and even though I have felt like given up, I know its true that the Heart of Life is good. I know that God has given us these trials for a reason. We do not know what his purpose is or the lesson he wants us to learn, but our trust in him that everything will be okay...that's what makes this all "do-able"!

I will close with one of my favorite Bible verses that has really strengthened me through everything. I come back to this verse and I study it, and I hold it close to my heart because I know that through faith and trust, God will give us our heart desires and good will always beat evil!
                                                                                                                              1 Peter 1:7

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.